Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
