He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
