i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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