C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
