What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
