meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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