dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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