wat bout pragnant strippers??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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