your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
