if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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