She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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