The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
