So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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