I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
