Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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