Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
