Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
