Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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