I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
