its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
