I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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