If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
