He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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