i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
