pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This house was built for laser tag.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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