They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
