so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
