I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
