he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize