maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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