He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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