Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
