wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Randomize
