Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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