was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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