Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
