Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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