Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial