i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
