Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
