there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
