Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
