my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
