He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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