i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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