Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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