i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize