I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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