Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
