My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just had sex on a roof
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
