no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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