He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
