Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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