They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
