Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
please come you make the beer taste better
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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