felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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